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Know Where You Stand in the Swirling Chaos

I was lucky to know three of my four grandparents before they passed, and it’s clear to me now how much they taught me. My paternal grandmother had the biggest impact. She was born in 1900, lived through the depression, lost her husband unexpectedly, worked multiple jobs, and had a habit of never throwing anything out. In spite of all the challenges she faced, she raised three boys as a single parent including putting them through college, volunteered in her community, and contributed to her church as an active member.

With all the turmoil in her life, I wonder, how did she do it?

Growing up, I didn’t think about such things. I was more focused on toys. In fact, one of my fondest memories was visiting her home and discovering toys I’d never seen anywhere else. We didn’t make the trip all that often, so each visit maintained a magical feel. She had old board games and a wooden bowling set, but the item that always occupied most of my time was the gyroscope.

I remember pulling the starter cord that set it in motion and watching it wildly twist and turn, seemingly jerking in three different directions. It seemed liked magic. (If you haven’t seen one before, take a look!) How could this simple toy rotate on three different axes and not fall over?

As I reflect on it now, the gyroscope and Grammy Miller are linked for me in an important way. They each remind me of the importance of one question:

How can you stay grounded when everything around you seems to be in chaos? 

The answer: know where you stand.

It’s true that when you think about a gyroscope, your attention is seldom drawn to the stand it sits on. But it’s the solid foundation provided by the stand that supports all the activity that swirls in three different directions above.

Similarly, Grammy Miller never spoke about her stand, which was her values. Her stand provided the solid foundation on which she relied. Grammy’s values were her faith, her family, and her community service. She was a strong, church-going woman who modeled hard work, faith, and a love of family. It was always clear that she faced the turmoil in her life by relying on these values. She knew what mattered most.

So as you do your best to balance what’s happening at work, at home, and in your community, do you know where you stand?

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Take a Book Out at a Human Library

Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens to allow in more light.

—Vera Nazarian

When was the last time you heard a good story about someone’s life? One that lingered and made an impression on you. One that made you feel the same way you do after putting down a great book. Have you heard about The Human Library Project?

The Human Library Project subscribes to the idea that the best “books” are actually people, and that people who share their stories with others are the key to breaking down barriers and creating a better world.

The Library

The Human Library Organization (HLO) was created in Copenhagen in the spring of 2000 by Ronni and Dany Abergel, Asma Mouna, and Christoffer Erichsen. The original HLO event featured over fifty different human “books” and was open eight hours a day for four straight days.

A human book is a person who volunteers to represent a community of people that has been stereotyped and, based on their personal experiences, can answer questions from “readers” to help challenge what is being said/told/understood about a given community. Books help shed light on the facts as they know them. Books are not political or on a mission when they are read, but rather able to surrender to the agenda of the reader and allow them control of the conversation during a 30-minute book reading session.

The broad selection of human books at that first session provided readers with ample choice to challenge their stereotypes. More than a thousand readers took advantage, many becoming their own versions of a human book. Librarians, organizers, and readers were stunned at the reception and impact of the Human Library.

Today, the HLO operates as a non-profit in 85 countries to better our understanding of diversity in order to help create more inclusive and cohesive communities across cultural, religious, social, and ethnic differences.

The HLO also offers diversity, equity, and inclusion training for companies that wish to better incorporate social understanding within their workforce, as well as grow their cultural awareness for deeper partnerships with clients.

The Ask

Organizations like HLO and Penn State’s World in Conversation advocate for open dialogue as a key to breaking down the barriers at the root of many of the challenges we face as a global community.

But the problems aren’t always as far away as the other side of the world. In sharing the story of the HLO I’m asking you to consider what you could learn if you chose read a new book, independent of any formal HLO program. And what impact could you make by becoming your own human book for someone else? Our stories do more to connect us than divide us when we’re willing to tell them, and when others are willing to listen.

In fact, that’s why I wrote Being Chief and Casey’s Kite. So that more people could hear my stories and then make an impact of their own.

Why not find a new book? You might be surprised what you learn.

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10 Ways to Increase Your Power in Virtual Meetings

Work as we know it has shifted. That means lots of “virtual” work online. Do you enjoy virtual meeting sessions? Are you at your very best when you participate onscreen? Would you like to be more powerful in these settings?

If so, you’re not alone. There are two steps to regaining your power while working online.

The first step is to agree what we’re talking about when we use the word power.

To me, power is your clarity, influence, energy, confidence, and impact. It has nothing to do with your position or your title. Everyone can increase this kind of power.

With that understanding, the second step is to practice these 10 ways to increase your power in virtual meetings. As you’ll see, these tips range from what you do to how you do it.

To increase your clarity:

  • Check back with people to ensure what they heard is what you think you said.
  • Test your software and internet connection in advance to eliminate the chance for technical problems.

To increase your influence:

  • Don’t interrupt or talk over people and recognize technology transmission delays.
  • Mute your microphone as often as possible to help others be heard.

To increase your energy:

  • Eliminate distractions and concentrate your focus to be completely present when others speak.
  • Be generous in your praise for others’ good ideas. (Positive energy will boomerang back to you!)

To increase your confidence:

  • Include values (your “why”) in the session to share what you stand for.
  • Set your background consciously for your sessions so attendees will see with what’s important to you.

To increase your impact:

  • Remember “less is more.” The impact of your words will increase if you choose your words carefully and are mindful of how many of them you use.
  • Connect actions and words by sharing what you have done since the last call that connected to what you said you’d do.

One of my favorite lines has always been, “Real power is never given, it’s only taken.” I encourage you to increase your power, whether you’re communicating virtually or anywhere else.

If you are interested in measuring, increasing, and spreading your real power, you can access a simple, FREE tool with no obligations by clicking here.

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21 Ways to Uncover Real Power in Any Organization when Everything Changes

At a time when people are experiencing stress at epic levels, organizations need to support their teams like never before. While nearly every company is adjusting their expectations, the most successful are still optimizing to be the best they can be in today’s environment. The key to optimizing is to uncover the real power in your organization. That requires leadership.

Conventional wisdom says leadership comes from the top. But in my experience working with companies ranging from startups to multinationals, I’ve found that conventional wisdom is wrong.

Optimizing is all about fostering leadership power at ALL levels.

Here are twenty tips I use to do just that, plus one that needs even more emphasis due to the unprecedented COVID-19 challenge we now face. If you are a manager at ANY level, these will help you and your team:

  1. Announce ASAP – communicate your goals, but be firm on generalities and loose on specifics
  2. Build a MVA – quickly develop a Minimally Viable Approach with a small/diverse team
  3. Engage everyone – think broadly
  4. Use a “Go-Test” – support the “Go-Go’s” (those who get it), help the “No-Go’s” (those who will never get it) to find somewhere else to work, and spend your time with the “Go-But’s” (those who need something to get on board)
  5. Double-down on Values – reinforce the things that won’t change
  6. Overcommunicate – just when you think you are done, you are just getting started
  7. Watch body language – watch others to get clues on where they stand, and watch your own body language, because others are
  8. Enable champions – some on your team have a larger ripple effect than others
  9. Embrace bad news – don’t kill the messenger
  10. Develop kill lists – encourage people to nominate things to stop doing
  11. Be present – make others feel your focus—on them
  12. Create flexible structure – hierarchy can both help and hurt so don’t rely on it exclusively
  13. Increase recognition – lots of “at-a-girl”s and “at-a-boy”s
  14. Build a new language – create phrases that capture key messages and use them a lot
  15. Use stories – build descriptions of past successes and key learnings to help your team retain and apply them
  16. Celebrate heroes – revel in the accomplishment of the innovators
  17. Model vulnerability – lead by example to help others “stay real”
  18. One-minute manage – offer positive feedback prior to constructive criticism
  19. Embrace a growth mindset – use adversity to get better
  20. Measure what matters – prioritize and stop focusing on numbers that don’t matter

And while this toolkit works well, I suggest adding particular emphasis to ONE item that should be on the top of everyone’s list:

  1. Recognize personal differences – it’s never been more important to acknowledge each person’s distinctive nature, and challenges. While I’m a fan of the golden rule (treat others as you’d like to be treated), I’m also a fan of Keith Ferrazzi’s platinum rule: Treat others as they wish to be treated.

Managers at any level can create conditions that will increase the clarity, energy, and impact of their team members, even today. And there is no limit to how far that positive ripple effect can spread.

Why not start now?

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Anyone Can Be Chief—Including Children

I’m excited to announce pre-sale availability of Casey’s Kite, a picture book created to offer children a simple and powerful path to be the best they can be—and to be chief of their own lives. Parents and teachers who want to introduce their children to the idea of leadership at an early age now have the book they need.

But just as with Oh, the Places You’ll Go and The Giving Tree, Casey’s Kite also offers important reminders that are helpful to people at every age, particularly today.

Casey’s Kite’s central themes are rooted in the Serenity Prayer: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Readers will meet a young girl who loves to build kites. But unlike many others who fly store-bought kites that look alike, Casey chooses to build her own kite with a shape and colors that she chooses. Like Casey, her kite is unique, and her courage to be different is admired by many of her friends.

But one kite-flying day a storm arrives quickly and the strong winds destroy many kites as Casey’s friends frantically tried to reel their kites in. But Casey made a different choice as she let out her line and allowed the wind to guide her kite. Her kite didn’t crash.

Casey had decided to surrender to a wind she couldn’t control. As she repairs her kite, she realizes it’s stronger than ever.

As Casey’s confidence grows, she enjoys both helping others with their kites as she learns from them at the same time. Casey’s wisdom about true leadership grows as she alternates between teaching and learning.

The Casey’s Kite book project is dedicated to teachers and families who empower every child with:

  • Courage to fly their kite every day
  • Serenity to surrender to winds they can’t control, and
  • Wisdom to build their kite to fly its own direction.

In their honor, Family Reach will receive 100% of all author proceeds from the book.

Family Reach is a national organization dedicated to eradicating the financial barriers that accompany a cancer diagnosis in children. For 42% of patients, this means depleting their entire life savings within two years of treatment. Family Reach works with more than 400 top-tier hospitals and cancer centers to reach families before they hit these critical financial breaking points. They allow cancer patients to focus on what really matters—their health.

Children have much to learn, and much to teach. We all do. When children start on a path toward courage, serenity, and wisdom early in life, the world becomes a better place.

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We Need Easterseals, Now More than Ever

At a time when even the strongest are challenged, it has never been more important to support those who need our help through organizations with a track record of doing that very thing, very well.

Easterseals has been supporting the youngest, the oldest, the most challenged, and the most deserving among us—every day for over 100 years.

Did you know that:

  • Easterseals has served veterans with transition services since WW II?
  • Easterseals runs a nationwide network of child development AND senior day care centers? Easterseals affiliate network serves 1.5 million people annually?
  • Easterseals has been an indispensable resource for individuals with disabilities and their families?

I didn’t.

I’ve learned a lot over the past six months about this amazing organization, and I’m excited that all of my proceeds from the sales of the second edition of Be Chief will be donated to support their great work. I’m also excited that we will be working together to advocate for the positive impact we can ALL make in the world. (See announcement.) Partnering with Easterseals was an easy decision for many reasons:

Mission

Easterseals is committed to ensure that everyone – regardless of age or ability – is 100% included and 100% empowered.

Community

Easterseals fosters environments where everyone is included and valued for their real and positive impact as we all live, learn, work, and play. Easterseals work can be seen in schools, workplaces, and communities nationwide.

Leadership

Easterseals National President and CEO Angela F. Williams sets the tone from the top for an organization that’s all about servant-leadership. Angela and fellow national leaders CFO Glenda Oakley, SVP Marcy Traxler, SVP John Osterlund, and VP Sharon Watson support similarly talented and committed state Easterseals teams who deliver outstanding service across the country.

Scope

Easterseals serves the comprehensive health and wellness needs of the one-in-four Americans living with health challenges today with outcomes-based services throughout their lifespan. Its services include, but are limited to:

  • early intervention and inclusive childcare
  • medical rehabilitation
  • autism services
  • job training and coaching
  • employment placement
  • transportation services for adults with disabilities and veterans
  • adult day services
  • employment opportunities for older adults
  • mental health and recovery programs
  • assistive technology
  • camps and recreation opportunities
  • caregiving support including respite
  • military transition services

Partners

Easterseals has an amazing group of seven national partners that share a passion for the mission. These include Albertsons, Amway, Century 21, Comcast/NBCUniversal, CVSHealth, Freddie Mac, and MassMutual.

Just as significant are the hundreds of other powerhouse state partner companies that enable Easterseals to serve.

Bottom line

If you are considering how best to help others at a time of great need, I urge you to consider by buying a book that can help you increase your impact while supporting Easterseals at the same time. Many in need look to them for help—now more than ever.

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Choices, Habits, and Impact

As the coronavirus pandemic spreads around the world, it is clearer today than ever before that we are all connected, that each person has a powerful impact on everyone around them, and that our power resides in our choices.

We are being bombarded daily with choices about social distance, masks, relatives, travel, work, childcare, shopping, eating, hand-washing—the list goes on.

The choices on everyone’s mind today are key to keeping us, and those around us, healthy. And the impact of these choices is broad and wide.

But in the weeks and months ahead when the daily bombardment subsides, our individual impact will remain high, but the key to our future success will shift from the choices we make to the habits we build.

Having spent a career focused on simple actions that enable people to maximize their impact, I believe strongly in the power of choices and habits. And while building good habits is also a choice, it’s not a simple one.

The truth is, creating new habits can be challenging, but a breakthrough book by researcher Wendy Wood titled Good Habits, Bad Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick offers a great resource to those of us who want to get better at it.

Wendy starts by describing the challenge all humans face: our senses give us a never-ending set of stimuli to react to throughout each day, and we are faced with too many decisions. To make life manageable, we build habits. Research indicates we spend a shocking 43% of our day doing things without thinking about them!

Wendy offers a great toolkit of ideas on how to get rid of old bad habits and how to create better ones by understanding the three bases of habit formation:

  • Context – the external forces that either drive or restrain your actions. Woods points out that the easiest context to manipulate is proximity. Lesson: if you want to remember to wash your hands frequently, ensure there’s a large soap dispenser next to every faucet in your home.
  • Repetition – habits are formed when they can be repeated—often. Contrary to the popular idea that it takes 21 days to form a habit, research shows it actually takes 65 days on average of repeating a simple health behavior to become automatic. The good news is that you can miss a day or two and not go back to zero. Lesson: go easy on yourself if you fall short of your goal on any particular day because you are still on course!
  • Rewards – small “prizes” that immediately follow good behavior are important because they release dopamine, often called the “feel-good chemical,” that promotes habit-learning. Intrinsic rewards such as feeling pleased or satisfied are the most effective. Lesson: set yourself up for success by rewarding yourself regularly as you work towards any new goal.

Good Habits, Bad Habits also includes important lessons about timing, “habit-stacking,” and misunderstandings about willpower and self-control. The key takeaway is that you don’t need to be Superwoman or Superman to build great habits.

So what’s the message? It is clear that we are all connected, and that by making good choices and building good habits we can make our best and biggest impact, now and in the future.

Why not choose to build good habits NOW?

You may also be interested in the newly-released second edition of my book Be Chief: It’s a Choice, Not a Title. It offers simple tips and tools to help you understand, measure, increase, and spread your true power and impact—defined as clarity, energy, influence, and confidence. 100% of my book proceeds go to Easterseals to support the amazing impact they make for others.

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Feeling Powerless? Build Your Own Compass

Feeling Powerless? Build Your Own Compass

When everything is up in the air as it is today, where do you turn for guidance? What happens when you can no longer rely on the normal roads and routes you’ve used in the past to get where you want to go? And what can you do to counter the overwhelming feeling of powerlessness that has many of us in its grip?

When you think about it, there are two options. First, you can look to others for direction, but that approach invariably leaves us frustrated when ever-changing information causes the views to shift of those we look to. The second option is to look inside yourself to set a direction that you can rely on—one that’s more stable and trusted, because it’s your own.

Q: How can you set your own course when the road ahead seems so unpredictable?

A: When the old roadmap isn’t working anymore, choose to create your own compass.

Growing up, we didn’t travel much. My dad worked hard and so when it was time for vacation, the last thing he wanted to do was pile the family in the car for a long drive to a new sight or city. He just wanted to take it easy and relax. Rather than taking extravagant vacations, which we couldn’t afford, we took small day trips or simply drove to a familiar place using a different route. My favorite was a farm 20 miles from home that served the best ice cream on the planet. Maybe ice cream led to my love of roadmaps and my understanding of the importance of a compass.

First, consider roadmaps. Your driving preferences may change under different circumstances, but a roadmap offers alternatives. At times you might want the most direct way from point A to point B. At other times you may want to slow down, enjoy the ride, and take a detour. And sometimes you just want to take a new road. And when things don’t go as planned, sometimes a roadmap gives you alternatives to fall back on.

But with all the unprecedented events we are living through today, many of us are finding that the old roadmaps we’ve been relying on are falling short. We seem to be headed in areas where no one has been before. What do you do when there is no road?

The answer is, you use a compass.

When you’re unsure about what’s ahead, a compass is your best tool. You use it when you have a general idea of direction you’d like to go but you are faced with the task of blazing a new trail. You might get advice and counsel from others, but getting to this new place will have a lot more to do with your ability to do things your way. And you’ll be more successful as you get better connecting what you do to who you are. This is where your true power comes from.

Your personal compass can identify simple choices to increase your clarity, energy, and impact as you expand your confidence and influence. I have found great utility in the link between choices and a compass. In fact, I developed the extensively road-tested Power Compass to Be Chief to help you, and those around you to succeed.

Yes, even in tough times.

 

(This story was excerpted from Be Chief: It’s a Choice, Not a Title, Second Edition, slated for April 7, 2020 publication, where 100% of author proceeds will be donated to Easterseals in support of their work to help individuals with challenges become true Chiefs. Pre-publication book orders can be made on Amazon now.)

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